Each and every time, it has been around 3 years, when my dad pay my school fees. Thousands and thousands of Ringgits. And he will tell me only 1 sentence: "Study Hard Kar Hoe!" and my heart its like being poked by swords. Because I know I haven't been performing in life and I haven't been keeping my promise. (As what a Man should do I guess). Because I know the money that I'm holding in my hands, are the hard earned money with sweat and blood from him.
I have always been regret of my decision for choosing Taylor's to study my A levels. I guess the only thing i have make the money I have spent worth probably is the friends i knew there. And probably the experiences that i have gain. But by looking at the results, I'm just being another spoilt brad kid who are wasting my parent's money. Many people told me, what's over, its over. But there are things in life which will leave a big scar in your heart and it will affect you for your whole life. Of course, i'm taking this as a lesson in life and making best out of it (I'll try).
I guess i haven't been having enough lessons? and end up i screw my 1st year up! Seeing your life going from bad to worse though its not a fun thing, perhaps the most heart catching part is that you realise you haven't been performing in life for so many years. But of course it won't break my "dream" though i cannot be a life example like probably, I'm super success type and some of the guys admire me and get jealous over me. But my ultimate dream is to show love towards the people around me. I guess there are nothing bigger than what love can be meant. Of course it all flow out of me from the Agape love that i've got from Above. :D
Some of my friends know, I have some responsibility in family. Fetching my Brother, Mother, Dad. Probably like when you finish class around 4pm, you have to reach home around 8pm because you gotta make a detour into the city which all the roads are jammed up! And probably you just settle down in your room resting and haven't even open your tutorial works and assignments, you gotta go out and fetch your dad around 10pm and reach home at 11pm. You are dead tired when you are home at 11pm, and you decided to have a good night sleep. Morning waking up at 6.30am and leave house around 7am to fetch brother and mum to school and office respectively while some of the time you are having classes at 10am. I use to be super frust, SUPER FRUST about my life, I can't control my own time, because you do this everyday. I start to curse this and that and probably blaming life why it has to be like that. HOWEVER, the point is, when life goes on, I feel that i needed to do that, either I have make it a habit but of course not, but there is a period of time, I feel that i'm more than willing to do that. This is one of the opportunity to show that your family needs you. Hehe! Especially during night time when I fetch my dad, probably that's the only time everyday I can talk to him! And its the only time that i am able to show, I care about my family.
Though towards the last part i do not know what am I saying in the big picture but i know i have been learning to love my family more over the things that happened in life.
"Everything happened for a reason, the moment you born, its not a coincidence"
P.S - Bear with my england, I know i don't possess good englandsss.
Kar Hoe
