You just cannot slow down and content with everything you have. I felt defeated. Yes. I thought i would be the one leading you career wise. But there is actually someone out there helping and make sure you got the job from deloitte. 

No i'm not unhappy because you use to hang out closely with him. But i just thought that i am the one that was opening up the opportunity for you. But obviously, i'm weak. 

I'm happy for you of course. I'm seriously am. But i'm upset for myself. I have no one out there to help me although i'm not looking for any. 

It felt like a battle was lost before even i went into the scene. 

I'm tired. Sometimes i do not know if i'm doing it right. Everything still lingering inside me. 

What do you do? When you realised the girl you love the most probably missing the guy that was before you. Seems like its difficult for me to forget some of the moments. That deep inside me. A satay photo, dinner by the riverside in melaka. I had my moments. Please let me get over it please. Somethings are not meant to be said. Just yet.

I'm not sure I got rejected really because of exams or..............

Put all things aside. There are days that I thought I deserve something, but most of the days I think I'm not good enough.

Its been living in the lie for 3-4 years. When can i live a life out of these?

i just want a companion when i'm weak

Sad

It certainly hurts. I've been always thinking on the good side. But not accepting the fact. I have underestimated the feeling of waiting. For a short message, Just a simple msg.

Sometimes I'm wondering do I really stand a chance. Nothing can take away the fear off me.

I'm becoming less and less important

Realised that i have so many things to change, so many things to improved.

1. Stop all negative thinkings! Stop emoing, you wouldn't want the ppl are not obliged to make u feel good!
2. Have higher self esteem!
3. Determination in achieving goals, while not letting your goals into drain.

This blogpost is a reminder!

Hello panda strawberry

失望的不是不能去云顶，失望的是我知道我们没有机会见面了。

If there is one day somebody will tell me that she feel blessed to have me around.

I cannot imagine I am actually weeping and do not know what to do. Oh God please have mercy on me. I do not want to lose someone so important to me yet I don't think I am fit enough to handle these. When can all these hell days going to be over?

I'm a dreamer

Don't know why can't sleep during at night. The best way to fall asleep is on the TV, turn to sports channel that is showing a football match with the teams that you're not interested at all playing, you'll definitely fall asleep before half time. lol!

Ahhh! learned new things today. :)

This is bad, bad place to release what ever feeling i've got. Classes starting in around 10 days and i'm taking an extra subject. Relishing the most important 9 months of my life!

Now i understand why ppl craving for beer, its not for the feeling when you forget everything when you drunk, its for the dream when you sleep after you drunk.

Only just a dream. :')